Ouch. Major ouch. A little more ouch. It's only been 3 hours since I was at the Y and I already feel it. I worked hard. I was focused. I am proud.
There is this crazy zone that I get in when I am working out. Nothing can kill my focus. I am driven. Driven to work harder. To push myself. But, it's odd. That drive is NOT there at home. Only when I go somewhere. I baby out at home. I put it off. But the "gym", it's all about me.
No one needs anything to eat. I don't have anyone asking me questions. I can focus entirely on me. As a mom, as a working mom especially, it's hard to focus on yourself. It's easy to put yourself last and feel guilty if you do it differently. I'm realizing, I'm not mentally and emotionally healthy if I don't give this gift to myself.
My job helps keep me sane. Weird since I work with mentally ill people but I love what I do. My family makes me feel complete and I love spending time with them. It isn't enough. I have to do something for myself. I have to put me first for an hour, five days a week, 52 weeks a year. I've realized the kids won't die. The laundry won't get any bigger (well hopefully not) in that hour. Dogs won't starve. Dishes will get done eventually.
I don't have to give so much of myself that there is nothing left. I don't feel guilty anymore. I'm proud of myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment