Mom. What you don't know about her...

...is that she isn't just a mom, she's a saint.  Yes, you heard that right.  Ask anyone that knows her and they will pretty much tell ya the same thing.  I know, there is already a St. Judith but she is from Prussia and the 13th century, this St. Judith is from St. Louis and from the here and now.  

My mom lived through hell and back before I made my way into this world.  There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her kids (two of my brothers at that time), including run from a horrid situation that could have gotten her killed.  But she did it anyway.  She would have given her life for her children at any moment in time.  Wait, she was a mom, she gave up having a life for us.

My mom loves to dance.  We were the only 4th graders that knew how to jitterbug.  We had a blast dancing down the green plastic runner in the living room with our mom.  She could have been a dancer, she's that good.  Instead, she worked at the appliance store or the cancer hospital to bring home the bacon.  At night...we danced.  Dancing with the Stars had nothing on us.

My mom loves baseball.  The St. Louis Cardinals have a life long, #1 fan in my mom.  Burn out catch in the front yard, ball games filled with stink bugs and moths in the evening and catchers helmets full of dirt made us into Cardinals fans.  She sacrificed her time, what precious little time she had, to pass on something that she grew to love from her own childhood.

My mom has tact and is always a lady.  Perm in the 3rd grade with my already very naturally curly hair, I begged for weeks and she let me go ahead even though she knew what was going to happen.  Think Michael Jackson from the Jackson 5.  It was that bad.  She cried with me, she told me I was beautiful and then she asked me how I wanted my hair cut.  Boy hair cut followed the perm incident and never once did she say I told you so.  Pilgrim shoes.  I owned them.  Well, they looked like Pilgrim shoes (think giant buckle) to my mom.  Never did she tell me there were ugly.  She said they were "nice Pilgrim shoes" and smiled her charming smile.  

My mom gives, even when there isn't anything to give.  Holiday dinners usually included at least 1 or 2 families in the church that didn't have family around (sometimes it was more like 4-6 families).  If there wasn't enough food, she could mysteriously whip up more.  Everyone always took food home.  To this day she is always giving something whether it is her time, her care, kindness, a listening shoulder, doesn't really matter, if someone needs something, she will find something to give.  

My  mom makes me smile.  She makes me laugh.  She makes me thankful.  She makes me proud.  Proud to be her daughter and proud to say that she is my mother.  So here's to you mom, St. Judith of St. Louis, I am so blessed to have a mother that loves me no matter how much you may want to shake me sometimes.  You truly are my hero.

My beautiful mother

With her charming smile

And her loving heart

Always bringing a smile to

      my face.  I love you.

I'm working very diligently on being an actual health nut.  I've had to go to drastic measures to do so as my body would not respond to what I was trying to do.  Literally.  Seven out of twelve months being faithful, consistent and working my a** off and nothing.  Zero response from my body.  Even took a migraine medicine for the crazy bad migraines I go through and a side effect is weight lose.  Nothing.  Literally.  So I took matters into my own hands, actually my surgeons hands, I had bariatric surgery, gastric sleeve to be exact.  

I'll save ya the boring details.  They really aren't worth it.  Here's what matters:

• If one person tells me I took the easy way out...I will throat punch them (even if it isn't throat punch Thursday).  This has in no way been easy.
• Bariatric surgery does not guarantee that you will be healthier, thinner and happy.  
• I have to eat just as healthy and exercise just as much as I did before if I want to lose the extra weight and become an official health nut.
• Again, not an easy out.  Can't stress that enough.  

I made the decision to take matters into my own hands in February after hours and days and weeks of research.  I settled on a surgeon in Tijuana, before you even say or think a single thought about going to Mexico hold it - I'll explain in a minute, and booked my surgery.  We don't have insurance.  Mexico was my only option.  For the price of a couple of meals out a month, I was able to come up with enough money to make a payment on my health for the next few years.  I saved almost $15,000 by going to Mexico and that included a flight for Jason and I.  Top notch surgeon, nurses and care.  Could not have asked for better care actually.  March 28, 2015 is a day that will live in my memory forever.  My life changed in ways I never imagined.

God has had his hand on me the entire journey.  Without it, I wouldn't be here to write a blog.  The surgeon I chose also did a fellowship in cardiology (he trained in the U.S. for cardiology and bariatrics).  Not only was he able to take out about 80% of my overstretched stomach but he was able to recognize that I have a heart problem.  One I have never known about.  No one has actually.  My surgery took longer than usual because my heart could not maintain a steady rhythm and my heart rate ran so low, low 20's.  Apparently my resting heart rate ranges from 42'ish to 52'ish.  Extremely conditioned athletes can have a heart rate in the 50's and be safe.  Ummmm....I think we all know I'm not a well conditioned athlete.  I left Mexico with strict orders to follow up with my primary care doctor and a cardiologist.  Three more weeks and I will finally get to see the primary.  And then wait for a referral.  Ugh.  For the most part, it doesn't really cause a problem.  Well...except the other day when I worked out a little too hard right after being released to work out again (first one back actually) ...thank God the piano was there to catch me before I hit the ground!  My man wasn't impressed.  My heart likes super highs and super lows.  I'm not impressed.

So why go through all of this?  Because I couldn't do it on my own.  After two decades of being obese I decided I had to do something if I wanted to see my kids grow up.  So I did.  I was fortunate, I have had so much support.  More than I ever dreamed.  There have been emotional, mental and physical highs and lows.  Gas pains from laparoscopic surgery like I've never had before (had two other surgeries and nothing like this).  A HUGE learning curve - pork (most varieties) hates me now, chewable vitamins not so bad, chewable iron HELL NO! unless you enjoy the taste of blood, "being regular" is a gift (really, you should treasure it.  really).  Funny thing is, I would do it all over again in a heart beat.  Literally.  Sure my clothes fit better and a lot of them just don't fit, too big, freakin' finally!  I am healthier, I can feel it, an important benefit that sits at the top of my list.  But even more than these things, I can finally, finally say I don't loathe myself when I look in a mirror.  Not just loathing the physical appearance but the mental aspect.  Having to have those "talks" with myself in the mirror about feeling like a failure, demanding I do better, work harder, be stronger and blah blah blah.  I don't have to do that anymore.  That in itself makes me healthier.  If I start that down the loathing road (see above - mental and emotional highs and lows), my supports come in like gangbusters and talk me off the ledge.  Literally.  

I'm on a journey to be an actual health nut.  It's working.  I like it.  It feels good.  Finally.

Judy

Has it really been a year and half since I blogged (that's a statement not a question because I already know the answer).  Bahahahahahaha is all that I can really say to that.  It doesn't really seem possible but a year and a half goes by so much quicker than you think.  At least for us it has.  Life has really been turned upside down and then right side up and then side ways and now we are somewhere between upside down and right side up and side ways and oddly enough it fits us.

This first post after an 18 month hiatus is not going to be an oh look what we've been doing or look what we have done or any other "look what" type post.  Just figured I would start writing again.  I miss it.  Probably one of the things I enjoy doing the very most in life but usually find an excuse not to do.  Why is it that we find excuses not to do the things we love or that are important to us but we can play mind numbing games on our gadgets for at least an hour a day?  

There are a lot of things I find important in my life these days and oddly (I really love this word, not sure why) enough, they aren't the same things that I found important 18 months ago.  Not true, some of them are.  But, after reading through my past posts, definitely differences.  That's another thought.  Why do we change things in our life that are important to us, we find value in and that we love when we really don't have to?

So if I add those two questions together I get: Why do we find excuses to give up the things that we value and hold important in our life when life doesn't necessarily demand that we do?  Now I will embark on a quest to figure this out.  I think.  At least I will try.  I may have some of these answers already but I don't think I'll post them just yet.  Not because I can't or I'm not ready but because I need to go to the store to get eggs to make the cornbread to go with the ham and beans for dinner.  Yes, you read that right.  

So in good conscious, I bid you  .  For now.