Food Frenzy

I have totally slacked this week.  I mean seriously.  Not at work.  That's been crazy-chaotic-busy.  But, I LOVE it!  Call me slacker cook this week.  How in the world do I get it all done and eat before 7 (which kills my guts!).

Crockpot??  Not a fan.  Well, Jason isn't anyway.  Freezer cooking?  Freezer isn't big enough.  Definitely need to invest in one.  Convenience food?  Can't stand all the additives.  What to do.

Going to the grocery store will help.  Almost payday thank God!!  I think the key will be filling the fridge with healthy foods that are convenient, easy to prepare, and that don't kill your guts.  Budgeting while shopping?  So hard.

I teach people how to budget their money.  How to avoid impulsivity when shopping.  How to recognize symptoms that trigger impulsive spending.  Why doesn't it work for me?  Because I can't pass up a good sale and sometimes........you just need double stuffed Oreos.  

I gotta scour the net for quick, healthy recipes that don't take hours to cook, hours to prep.  Gotta find things that my other half can tag team with me.  Need to go back to making a menu.  Slacker cook didn't come out near as often with the menu.

On a positive note, found a great pork carnitas recipe that everyone loved.  It was in the crockpot.  Go figure.  

Wanna be is gonna be sore

Ouch.  Major ouch.  A little more ouch.  It's only been 3 hours since I was at the Y and I already feel it.  I worked hard.  I was focused.  I am proud.  

There is this crazy zone that I get in when I am working out.  Nothing can kill my focus.  I am driven.  Driven to work harder.  To push myself.  But, it's odd.  That drive is NOT there at home.  Only when I go somewhere.  I baby out at home.  I put it off.  But the "gym", it's all about me.

No one needs anything to eat.  I don't have anyone asking me questions.  I can focus entirely on me.  As a mom, as a working mom especially, it's hard to focus on yourself.  It's easy to put yourself last and feel guilty if you do it differently.  I'm realizing, I'm not mentally and emotionally healthy if I don't give this gift to myself.

My job helps keep me sane.  Weird since I work with mentally ill people but I love what I do.  My family makes me feel complete and I love spending time with them.  It isn't enough.  I have to do something for myself.  I have to put me first for an hour, five days a week, 52 weeks a year.  I've realized the kids won't die.  The laundry won't get any bigger (well hopefully not) in that hour.  Dogs won't starve.  Dishes will get done eventually.  

I don't have to give so much of myself that there is nothing left.  I don't feel guilty anymore.  I'm proud of myself.

An Epiphany

Went to the Y yesterday.  Met with the "wellness coach".  Let's just say, I think I could do that job just as well, maybe better.  I know, I know.  Wouldn't have needed to meet with her if I had it all together.  Right??  

Disclaimer:  I am in no way putting down the wellness coach.  She is a super nice lady.  She is smart.  She's in fantastic shape.  But.....

That's an hour of my life I will never get back.  Or that I could have spent working out.  Or that I could have swam with the kids.  Really.  

Any advice I take away from my "coach" (since they can't actually give you specifics (although they present the program as that) because you have to pay the personal trainer to do that) visit?  Trying hard to rack my brain here.

I know.  I sound so sarcastic.  But seriously.  Just because I'm still in the getting serious about my health stage, it doesn't mean that I know nothing about nutrition and exercise.  In fact, the workout "suggestions" (again can't give you any kind of actual plan, just give SUPER vague ideas) were actually not good suggestions.  I asked questions.  Well, to bad for me, at that point visit over.  Guess you don't question the coach.

And just to set the record straight, people who have weight issues, whether too much or too little weight, are not lazy, uneducated consumers.  I can name the calories, fat, blah, blah, blah in the majority of the food I put in my pie hole.  Pie, coconut cream, my fav.  Wait, I digress.....Yes, i have read just about every book on diets, on weight loss, on living a healthy life.  Blah, blah, blah.  I've got the apps.  I subscribe to the Facebook pages.  Really.  The knowledge is ALL there.  And probably way more than I will EVER need.  So why still a wanna be?

It's a heart condition.  Not physical.  Emotional.  I'm gettin' it figured out.  So hard to change habits and behaviors that have been there for so long.  Slight oxymoron as I do behavior therapy on a daily basis all day long with my clients.  So easy to teach others but so hard to put it into practice in my own life sometimes.  But, I'm ready.  There is this crazy, good feeling I have when I get done working out and I have pushed.  Not just exercised.  Pushed to the max, game face on, make the girl on the elliptical next to you think hey, if the big girl can do it, so can I and she ends up looking like she is trying to race you somewhere.  That's what I'm talking about.  Push.

I think I'm going to be my own wellness coach.  Pretty sure I can do the job, maybe do it better.

Last Minute

Why wait until the last minute?  Yes, I'm a little peeved.  There are people in my life that wait until the last minute.  Makes me crazy when I have my own deadlines to meet.  Then I have to wait until the last minute.  Cram.  Work twice as hard.  So frustrating.  

I always waited until the last minute when in college.  I work well under pressure.  Cranking out 15 page papers in two days?  No problem.  I graduated with a high GPA.  Apparently procrastination works in some instances.  When your job depends on it, not a good idea to procrastinate.  

That reminds me, I've waited until the last minute to send out Dread Heads birthday invites.  Kind of an important one.  He'll be 18.  So weird to think our oldest child will be 18.  Puts my own life into perspective.  I should probably quit procrastinating and get invites sent instead of thinking about how surreal this all seems.  

Oh well, I work well under pressure.

It's Almost Time

August 20th.  That's day number 1 at school for our three younger kiddos.  They're excited.  They're nervous.  The excitement wins out.  They are ready to buy school supplies.  Don't you just love the smell of school supplies in the fall?  (not fall, not my thought, from my fav. movie You've Got Mail.  You should watch it.)

Am I nervous?  Not this time.  I know they will be in good hands.  I know they will be getting what they need academically that doesn't come so easy at home.  Will they hear/see crud at school we don't want them to be immersed in?  Probably.  But, t.v. would have to go, music other than hymns (I have a strong dislove of hymns.  Just sayin'), classic literature, and on and on.  We don't lack parental involvement in our home.  Can we have honest, open discussions about things that they may question?  Absolutely.  That's our job.  

Love the idea of homeschooling.  Suck at it.  Not exaggerating, just a fact.  I'm ok with it.  I've made my peace with it.  Time to move on.  Actually looking forward to this change.  We've been here before but never with all the cards on the table.  We've never looked at it as the only option and a positive thing.  Gonna be a great year and experience for everyone.  That reminds me, time to start checking out the back to school sales.  Don't you just love the smell of school supplies in the fall??

It's Fun to Stay at the......

YMCA!  We joined the "Y" tonight.  We took the tour last week, had to wait until payday to get our sweat/swim on though.  I didn't swim.  Need a new suit.  Dread got his basketball on.  Dad and the younger kids enjoyed the slide, the fountains and everything else in the aquatic center.  Family fun that doesn't require food.  Odd concept for me.

We are investing in our future.  A healthier one.  Our kids' future.  Being healthier makes it easier to stay around and be part of our kids' future.  It creates healthy habits in our kids.  It instills a love of being active at a younger age.  Hopefully, they will all grow up being wanna be health nuts.  

I didn't grow up being a health nut.  Or have a love for being active.  Sure, I played softball.  I was a cheerleader for a while.  Activities that involved sweatng....definitely not my first love.  If they were, I wouldn't be a wanna be.  I'd just be a nut.  Changing negative habits is hard.  So hard.  But.....well, there are not buts, it's hard.

I can do this.  I can go from wanna be to just being.  I'm looking forward to my gym time being permanently in my schedule.  It's almost too hard to imagine.  Looking forward to a future that doesn't include putting my health last.  Kind of exciting.  What about looking in a full body mirror and thinking, wow, I am rockin' this little black number.  An odd concept for me but not for long.

So I totally blew my post every day goal.  Full Speed Life.  What can I say!

I finished up my first full week as super.  Nice.  Gotta say, love this job.  I'm busy.  My brain is always working.  I love that.

The Y.  As in YMCA.  It's going to be our new hang out.  It's 8 minutes from our house.  We took the tour.  Oooohhhhed and awwwwwwed.  It's a fantastic place to spend time together.  Great place to continue my health goals.  Jason can hulk out.  Dread head and basketball.  'Nough said.  Miss Mini can get her youth yoga on.  Mr. Smooth and the swim team gonna get together.  Miss Itty can rock her leotards and not just in the yard.  Instilling an active life style in our children?  Not only priceless but SO important.

We celebrated Mom's first week as super by going to Eagle Fun Days.  Should be Free Days.  So much to do.  So much fun.

Daddy and Miss Itty Bit Danced.

Miss Mini-Me experienced brain freeze.

Mr. Smooth giggled at elderly ladies booty dancing with canes.

Dread Head had chicks whistling at him as he walked down the side walk.

And Dad and Mom thanked God for blessing them with such amazing kids and this amazing Full Speed Life.

My life in cartoons

Today I feel like cartoons.  Cartoons speak volumes.  Plus, they make me laugh.  We all need to laugh.  It's good for you!  

Life gets crazy, busy and can be overwhelming.  But I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything.  Amazing husband (He cooks and he does laundry voluntarily.  Told you he was amazing).  Children that deserve saint hood (remember I work with mentally ill people all day long!).  They keep me grounded.  A job I love.  It's all good for me.

 
(The one above is for Mr. Smooth!!!)

(Ms. Mini Me knows Gucci!)

No guilt

I just completed the third day of my new job.  Second in the actual office.  Have I mentioned before that I love my job?  

As a mom, wow, we wear a lot of hats.  I have been a full-time stay at home mom.  Part-time working mom.  Business owner mom.  Working, going to school, business owner, homeschooling mom, been all of those at once.  Never have I felt more content than I do at this very moment in my life.

No guilt.  No bad mom syndrome.  Actually, I'm a better mom.  I am doing what I am called to do on all fronts.  I'm at peace.  This makes me a better mom.  It makes me better on all fronts.  

I love my husband.  I love my children.  I love my job.  I love my Full Speed Life.

Changing Labels

I didn't post yesterday so now I must post two times today to keep up with my personal goal of posting every day.  That sounded redundant.  Oh well.

There will be some page changes on our blog.  Label changes too.  Education is taking on a whole new look at our house.  OK, not totally new as it has been there before.  But new since I started this blog.  Feeling relieved. 

We aren't homeschoolers anymore.  Permanent change.  No going back.  Feels like a burden has been lifted.  The kids are unhappy and being very vocal.  My inner pride, I must do this to be a "good" parent, feeling guilty if I don't, feel validated if I do, feelings have been tossed.  Our kids' well being is at stake.

They've been telling everyone for a week now.  We hadn't made a decision yet.  That tells us something.  Maybe they know what they need and I (yes, me.  Jason (dad) always knew they were better off staying in school but the whole move thing at the end of the school year made us both question.  Ahhhh, I digress)yes, I, need to back off.  Actually, I need to stop questioning my life and my worth and feeling like my worth is tied up in homeschooling.  I think I got that one finally taken care of.  I've told Jason to verbally smack me back to reality if I ever go there again.  He gladly agreed.

 Changing labels.  I'm sure we will have feedback.  Some positive, some negative.  For what it's worth, don't care about the negative.  It's about the kids and what they need.  It's about what we need as a family.  So here it is.  Notus School District will be gaining three new students.  Dislike our district, on the wait list at the charter, so we will drive the 15 minutes to an itty bitty district that is ranked very high in our state.  So worth it.  So relieved.

A new week

My "new" job starts today.  Weird I know.  Our weeks include Sundays.  Mental Illnesses don't take weekends or holidays.  Oh well.  At least I love my job.

Not nervous.  Excited.  Hoping I get it all right.  Actually, I know I will make mistakes.  I know I will have questions.  But, I work with fantastic people who are always willing to help.  Makes transitioning easier.

Family time will increase.  Thankful for that.  Although I work more hours, they are "better" hours and more conducive to family life.  Husband is thrilled he won't have to cook as much.  I'm a little sad about that.  The break has been nice.  Oh well, at least I love my mom job too.

Balancing it all and making the chaos organized is going to be interesting until we get into the groove.  Then school will start and we will add a bit more organized chaos.  At least it won't be at home.  That's another post.

Feeling blessed that I have the support of an amazing man.  Feeling proud that I made it this far this fast in my job.  Feeling content that I am in a job I love.  Feeling relieved that the kids have started an educational revolt.  Feeling content (did I mention that?).  It's amazing. 

Biting Flies

Safe and happy 4th for everyone?  For us, yes.  All the essentials for a great time.  Really couldn't have asked for more.  Fireworks were beautiful but the bother the cars stopped in a ever streaming bumper to bumper line in front of Uncle's house, SO priceless.  Let me rephrase, bother no, entertain yes.  Already planning our attack, ahummm...firework after party entertainment for next year.  Good times.

Also planning our day after the 4th, become one with nature day, better.  Upper 90's for temps.  First creek we went to looking to play in the water and fish, dry.  Second creek, so shallow, fish were the size of the buttons on my pea coat.  Long drive back through the dessert, sun blazing on my arm and leg, even through the tinted window.  Third and final attempt, the Snake River.  Aha!  Water at last.  Lots of it.  Fish jumping out of the water, big ones I might add.  A seriously loud, crazy buzzing noise.  

We settle in with poles, worms, drinking water, and fun on the brain.  Lucky me, I get stung by a sweat bee within two minutes of being there.  I'm allergic to bees and the allergy meds were back at Uncle's.  Fortunately, it was small enough it that it just hurt like Hades, made my arm go weird, but went away.  Enter my new arch nemesis.  Biting flies.  Oh, how I despise them.  Why do biting/stinging insects think I'm bait?  Super excited to wear sandals the next few days and show off what my ankle biting friends left behind.

Biting flies.  They made me think.  Apparently God knew that biting/stinging insects were going to love me.  He knew that I would sweat like a man and attract them even more.  Biting flies, light bulb moment.  My intense love affair with air conditioning.  My genuine respect for beautiful leather bags and stylish shoes.  My deep attraction to the smell of polished floors and numerous overpowering perfumes wafting out of lowly lit stores with pounding music. 

 I can hang out with the biting flies once in a while.  One with nature on occasion but my allegiance will always be within the air conditioned walls of a shopping mall.  Good times!

Kids Are Revolting

The kids have been homeschooled again since April 1st.  Enrolled in public school the majority of the 2012-2013 school year.  Had it's problems, had it's positives.  Hanging out at home lots.  Has it's problems, has it's positives.  I flex my schedule when I can but a revolt has begun.  

Begging.  Pleading.  Nagging.  They want out.  Or should I say they want in.  August is their deadline for change.  They know the local schools start then.  They want in.  

We have always given our kids choice.  Sometimes we have made the choice for them.  Hasn't always been the right one.  Hasn't always been based on their opinion or their need.  We are giving our kids choice.  Not based on our opinion or theirs.  Based on what's best for them.

We've discussed it.  We've prayed.  We've talked.  Where do we go from here?  It looks like, we go in.  

Learning Curve

Is there anything in this world that doesn't have a learning curve??  That whole 70 minutes of yoga in a day. Remember that??  Ummmm.....I should have figured there'd be a learning curve.

Day after 70 minutes of thinking I am a yoga master.  Core so SORE I could hardly stand straight.  Triceps burning during my morning flat iron routine.  Thank God I had easy clients that were content to chill during session.  I'm still sore.  

I have a plan.  Continue to be yoga master, of sorts.  Remember the learning curve.  Alternate days when it's been a tough workout.  Remember the learning curve.  Seeing a pattern here?

I have goals.  I have plans.  I have a future.  A healthy future.  One that remembers the learning curve.