OMGrocery Shopping

Ummm...don't think I have ever looked like this on a grocery shopping trip.  Unless we went after church.  Even then, still can't remember a trip when I was "dressed" at the store.  And her perky smile?  Really?  Unless all those groceries on the belt are free, you probably won't see that look on my face.  My facial expressions are more of concern.  Did the cashier get all my coupons?  Did the sale prices automatically ring up?  Did I stay within my budget?  Of course I did, my calculator was going the whole time I was shopping.  But still, what if something showed up in my cart that I didn't account for?  You get it.  

I remember the days of taking all four kids to the store with me.  Everyone had a job or duty in the store.  Now it's all me.  I'm ok with that part. I can get in and out in way less time.  One thing I miss...the help from the kids getting the groceries on the belt while I'm watching the monitor for accuracy.  (remember concerned facial expressions??).  Ugh.  Why is this such a focus for me?

Since my job has changed so much, our budget has too.  We have lived on less in the past and were able to do fine.  I don't wanna do fine.  Financially that is.  I wanna do well.  It's not about having stuff.  It's not about wanting what your neighbor has or trying to impress anyone.  It's about stability.  Peace of mind.  Having a cushion.  Not obsessing at the check-out.

Just gonna be real here for a minute.  I know it's for a season.  Believe me, I'm crazy, super thankful for all of the blessings in our life. I also know there is a purpose.  But come on, really??  After 20 years with my amazing man and the crazy, super amount of work we have both put in over the years...I'm over it.  I want my cushion back.  Season...you suck.  We are told all the time, be thankful.  I am.  Don't focus on the negatives.  I'm not.  They are kind of in my face and hard to ignore.  Find the positives.  Check and I can list them all.  Guess what?  I don't have to like it and I certainly don't have to stay in this season.  

As I pulled groceries off the shelves today I kind of looked like the lady in the pic.  The smile and pleasantness?  Yep.  It wasn't because I was content with the season.  Or because I was buying canned ham.  It was because this season is on it's way out.  Soon.  This is not our "lot" in life.  That's crap (or the "C" word as my mom would say).  I have been given the power and the strength to change the season...thank God I have $2 left in my grocery budget because I'm probably gonna need a Monster to push through.