OMGrocery Shopping

Ummm...don't think I have ever looked like this on a grocery shopping trip.  Unless we went after church.  Even then, still can't remember a trip when I was "dressed" at the store.  And her perky smile?  Really?  Unless all those groceries on the belt are free, you probably won't see that look on my face.  My facial expressions are more of concern.  Did the cashier get all my coupons?  Did the sale prices automatically ring up?  Did I stay within my budget?  Of course I did, my calculator was going the whole time I was shopping.  But still, what if something showed up in my cart that I didn't account for?  You get it.  

I remember the days of taking all four kids to the store with me.  Everyone had a job or duty in the store.  Now it's all me.  I'm ok with that part. I can get in and out in way less time.  One thing I miss...the help from the kids getting the groceries on the belt while I'm watching the monitor for accuracy.  (remember concerned facial expressions??).  Ugh.  Why is this such a focus for me?

Since my job has changed so much, our budget has too.  We have lived on less in the past and were able to do fine.  I don't wanna do fine.  Financially that is.  I wanna do well.  It's not about having stuff.  It's not about wanting what your neighbor has or trying to impress anyone.  It's about stability.  Peace of mind.  Having a cushion.  Not obsessing at the check-out.

Just gonna be real here for a minute.  I know it's for a season.  Believe me, I'm crazy, super thankful for all of the blessings in our life. I also know there is a purpose.  But come on, really??  After 20 years with my amazing man and the crazy, super amount of work we have both put in over the years...I'm over it.  I want my cushion back.  Season...you suck.  We are told all the time, be thankful.  I am.  Don't focus on the negatives.  I'm not.  They are kind of in my face and hard to ignore.  Find the positives.  Check and I can list them all.  Guess what?  I don't have to like it and I certainly don't have to stay in this season.  

As I pulled groceries off the shelves today I kind of looked like the lady in the pic.  The smile and pleasantness?  Yep.  It wasn't because I was content with the season.  Or because I was buying canned ham.  It was because this season is on it's way out.  Soon.  This is not our "lot" in life.  That's crap (or the "C" word as my mom would say).  I have been given the power and the strength to change the season...thank God I have $2 left in my grocery budget because I'm probably gonna need a Monster to push through.  

My Top 3 Reasons for...

Our next house not being in the country

  1.  Maintaining a swimming pool costs you an arm and a leg because all of

       nature's cast offs end up in the water and screw up the balance.  

  2.  Busy country road = no bueno for riding your bikes anywhere

  3.  Walking to the store can be hazardous to your health (see #2).

I'll take this one!

Being thankful that our kids are getting older

  1.  Date night.  Happens way more often now that they aren't wee ones.

  2.  They are much more "convenient".  If we want to go somewhere drop of

       a hat, we tell everyone to get in the car and we go.  No extra clothes, no

       extra luggage, we just go. 

  3.  All of them know how to read.  I have a love hate relationship with teaching

       kids how to read.

Not being a helicopter mom

  1.  I'm just not that motivated.  Seriously.  

  2.  They gotta make mistakes at some point and thank God they know they

       can talk to me about them.

  3.  I want them to be their own person.

Being myself

  1.  I could say all the above things and not feel guilty or worry about what

       others think.

  2.  I kind of actually like the real me. 

  3.  I'm not a pretender searching for myself anymore.

Only 6 Weeks Away...

...school for the kids that is!  Having surgery not only changed my life but our kids lives too.  Being told "hey you might not have made it through" makes you really evaluate things in your life.  Makes you look at what's really important.  The kids were on spring break when we came back from Mexico and they never went back to school.  

We cannot say enough good things about the Middleton School District.  Teachers and staff were wonderful.  All the bells and whistles you could ever want in a school.   However they weren't home.  Home for school.  For the most part, it didn't both us too bad.  At first.  The kids were content for the most part.  I was crazy busy with work and with going to school myself.  Jason was crazy busy with his job.  Little by little something just didn't seem to quite fit.  Like there was a piece of our lives we were missing out on.  A piece that we have always known should be there.  Enter life changing surgery.  Exit public school.

After the exodus to home, something really odd happened in our house.  A crazy phenomenon really.  The kids liked each other again.  The constant bickering stopped.  Siblings became friends once again.  Oh, and the dog lost weight since she was no longer sleeping the whole day away.  The missing piece had been put in place.

We tinkered with math and language arts for the remainder of the year and read a lot of books.  After being in school for the last almost two years, they needed a break.  I needed time to wrap my brain around what we had just done, even though I knew it was the missing piece.  Brain wrapped...let's do this!

I'm jacked for the new school year.  Really!  I've been slowly buying books and am getting closer to the end of the list.  We are using some old favs and we are gonna try out some new things.  I love the smell of books and I really love getting mail now days.  I can't wait to buy school supplies.  It's an addiction.  Really.  All those cheap crayons and notebooks make me giddy.  Who doesn't love the smell of scotch tape, glue sticks and new pencils??  Maybe it's just me.

Our journey isn't for everyone.  Our schooling choice isn't superior to others.  Our journey and methods and stances and outlook have changed a whole lot since we were last in the homeschooling sphere.  Thank God!  Truly.  As I put it on my Pintrest board, we are homeschooling without all the stereotypes.  You won't find a single jean jumper in our home.  EVER!  You won't even find us having "family worship" as part of our school day.  GASP!  NeWsFLaSh:  We may be homeschoolers but we are all original in the Waitley casa, cut from a very different cloth.  All of us are jacked about that.

(because who doesn't love the Dos XX guy!)

Mom. What you don't know about her...

...is that she isn't just a mom, she's a saint.  Yes, you heard that right.  Ask anyone that knows her and they will pretty much tell ya the same thing.  I know, there is already a St. Judith but she is from Prussia and the 13th century, this St. Judith is from St. Louis and from the here and now.  

My mom lived through hell and back before I made my way into this world.  There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her kids (two of my brothers at that time), including run from a horrid situation that could have gotten her killed.  But she did it anyway.  She would have given her life for her children at any moment in time.  Wait, she was a mom, she gave up having a life for us.

My mom loves to dance.  We were the only 4th graders that knew how to jitterbug.  We had a blast dancing down the green plastic runner in the living room with our mom.  She could have been a dancer, she's that good.  Instead, she worked at the appliance store or the cancer hospital to bring home the bacon.  At night...we danced.  Dancing with the Stars had nothing on us.

My mom loves baseball.  The St. Louis Cardinals have a life long, #1 fan in my mom.  Burn out catch in the front yard, ball games filled with stink bugs and moths in the evening and catchers helmets full of dirt made us into Cardinals fans.  She sacrificed her time, what precious little time she had, to pass on something that she grew to love from her own childhood.

My mom has tact and is always a lady.  Perm in the 3rd grade with my already very naturally curly hair, I begged for weeks and she let me go ahead even though she knew what was going to happen.  Think Michael Jackson from the Jackson 5.  It was that bad.  She cried with me, she told me I was beautiful and then she asked me how I wanted my hair cut.  Boy hair cut followed the perm incident and never once did she say I told you so.  Pilgrim shoes.  I owned them.  Well, they looked like Pilgrim shoes (think giant buckle) to my mom.  Never did she tell me there were ugly.  She said they were "nice Pilgrim shoes" and smiled her charming smile.  

My mom gives, even when there isn't anything to give.  Holiday dinners usually included at least 1 or 2 families in the church that didn't have family around (sometimes it was more like 4-6 families).  If there wasn't enough food, she could mysteriously whip up more.  Everyone always took food home.  To this day she is always giving something whether it is her time, her care, kindness, a listening shoulder, doesn't really matter, if someone needs something, she will find something to give.  

My  mom makes me smile.  She makes me laugh.  She makes me thankful.  She makes me proud.  Proud to be her daughter and proud to say that she is my mother.  So here's to you mom, St. Judith of St. Louis, I am so blessed to have a mother that loves me no matter how much you may want to shake me sometimes.  You truly are my hero.

My beautiful mother

With her charming smile

And her loving heart

Always bringing a smile to

      my face.  I love you.

A Reminder

So I got a reminder tonight.  I haven't posted on here in......well...forever.  Not that I haven't wanted to.  Not that I haven't thought about it.  Actually I thought about it numerous times, being brutally honest, I was just too lazy.

I had grand ideas that I would post every day.  Ever make "plans" and realize that your plans were a little bit lofty?  My posting every day thing goes along with going to the Y six days a week.  I am starting to realize that instead of grand ideas and lofty plans, maybe I should actually set achievable and realistic goals.

So, achievable goals that I can actually get to by the end of the year?  I know, most people wait and set goals at the first of the year.  That's not how I roll.  

-blog once a week
-read more
-drop another jean size
-hang out at the Y at least twice a week

Yep, I think that about does it.  Realistic?  Pretty much.  Lofty?  Maybe.  Depending on the speed of this crazy, amazing life I am living.  I can always dream can't I?

Oh, another goal.  Get more sleep.  Totally lofty and unrealistic since there aren't more hours in a day but just puttin' it out there!

Consistency.....I love it!

I cannot tell you how much better my life feels when I have consistency.  Yes, I have a job with a flexible schedule and it is rarely the same every week but today...my life got a bit more consistent.  Ok, a lot.

Our three younger kids all finished their first day of school.  It was a grand success.  Yes, I know.  Honeymoon period, always.  But, even after the honeymoon period, I have a feeling that we have found our "school" home.  No tears, no anxiety, no feeling out of place.  Really, the best first day ever.  Consistency.  Lovin' this feeling.

Now that the kids are in school again, there is consistency in routine.  Love this.  The kids thrive in this.  Mr. Smooth, functions on a whole new level with this.  My life, even with my chaotic schedule, feels steady.  Level.  I've missed this.  I didn't really realize just how much I've missed this.  

I've always thought I was a spontaneous kind of gal.  And in some ways, I think I still am.  But in daily life, I'm a consistent kind of girl now.  So weird how things change as you get older.  Maybe it's the having kids part.  Maybe it's just the fact that I'm older.  Nah, I don't like the sound of that because I don't feel that.  Wiser?  Yes.  Older?  Only in body.  

As we settle into this routine and get even more consistent in this whole crazy life thing, I'm pretty excited about the fact that workout time will be consistent.  Bed time for the kids, on time.  Dinner time, at a reasonable hour.  The more I think of, the more excited about this I get.  Best part of it all, everyone benefits.  Definitely wiser.

It's Over!

The week that is.  Well, the work week anyway.  I'm glad the week isn't over.  It's date night with my man.  I so look forward to these times.  It's been a while and I've missed him.

Jason works crazy hours in the summer.  I work a lot.  He's ready for bed by 8 as he gets up so early.  Doesn't work for me.  I'm more of a 12:30 kind of girl.  My hour or two a day isn't enough.  I like him too much for that.  You could say, I'm infatuated.  Still.  After almost 19 years, he gives me butterflies.

Date night is so important.  Another thing I used to feel guilty about.  Not anymore.  If Jason and I don't have a healthy, connected relationship, we can't be what our kids need us to be.  We need this time without kiddo interruption because guess what, we were "us" before kids came along.  Actually, not for long as Mr. Dread came along 9 months after we were married but......I digress. 

I love spending time as just "us".  We don't get to do it often but when we do, we do it well.  We eat what we like and it doesn't usually have a stand in line and order and get your food feel.  We only see non-kid movies if that's on the agenda.  We hang out with other adults, have adult conversation, and go to adult places.  It's five hours of bliss.  Yes, we have long dates.  Gotta when you don't get to do it often.

Don't get me wrong, we love our kids, more than life itself, but we need this time.  And, you know what, I think lots of people need it but don't do it.  I think couples would be happier, healthier, and more connected if they took time to just hang out as "us" instead of "the fam".  If they could do it without guilt that is.  Guilt ruins a lot of things.  Especially the mood on a date!  Not gonna happen to me tonight because I've missed him. 

Where Did it Go?

Talking about time.  Mr. Dread head turned 18 on Sunday.  As I looked through pictures to pull out and share with family and friends, I was transported to another time.  My trip down memory lane was filled with so many emotions.

Jason and I were kids (18 is definitely a kid in my book.  No wonder my parents freaked when Jason and I said we were getting married!) when baby made three.  Didn't have a clue what we were doing.  Weren't even sure how to be adults.  But somehow, we made it.  God's grace for sure.  

We always told Mr. Dread we were so sorry that he was basically a guinea pig.  We had never been parents so we were testing it out on him.  He always said he didn't mind.  But sometimes, I'm not so sure.  We were pretty wobbly here and there.  But somehow, we made it.

I almost lost my life bringing Mr. Dread into this world.  I didn't want to die but my body was saying and doing other things.  God's grace kept me here.  Funny how you fight to live but if Mr. Dread needed it, I would gladly lay down my life for him.  I love him that much.  Ditto for dad.  

We have held his hand through numerous skinned knees and bee stings.  We have cheered him on while he raced BMX and rode bulls.  We have been mesmerized by his amazing ability to create emotion and deep feeling with his music.  We are continually amazed that God felt us worthy of such an amazing young man.  The bond with our first born runs deeper each day as we experience the different phases of life together.  

Mr. Dread, you are a blessing given to us by God's grace and you truly make us proud.  

Running on Fumes

Life is running faster than full speed this week.  Jason's working long hours.  I'm working long hours.  The kids....not sure what they are doing exactly but they are all still alive! Working long hours at being kids.  I'll go with that.

The Y hasn't gotten many visits from us this week.  Not sure where I would have fit that in.  Wait....I could cut back on sleep.  Who needs it, right??  An office gal told me I had bags under my eyes.  Can't cut back the sleep.  Actually, I think it was from the sheer amount of concern for a client.  I know, I know, not supposed to emotionally connect in my profession.  I'd have to be dead.  Really.  I can't help but feel compassion and empathy when they are struggling.  I can't help but be concerned and a bit anxious when their mental status has decompensated so much they end up on a mental hold in the ER.  Breaks my heart.

On a positive. Landed in court today with Mr. Dread Head for aggressive driving (read following to closely).  No..not the positive...wait for it....wait for it.....The prosecuting attorney was fabulous.  Great deal, great guy.  Doesn't hurt he thought I was Mr. Dread Head's sister (oh snap, there's the positive in case you missed it).  Guess the bags under the eyes must have been smaller today.  Mr. Prosecutor is now my new best friend.  I must find more friends like that.

A milestone.  Miss Mini-Me had her first babysitting job today, well, besides her bro and sis.  She is an amazing, talented, beautiful young lady.  Almost 13.  That milestone freaks me out a bit.  Throw in the head to toe legs and I think daddy is going to be a busy man.

Blessed.  My job is amazing.  I love what I do.  God knew psychology was my bag.  My colleagues are amazing.  It all fits like a glove.  My family is even more amazing.  Supportive, proud, right there to back me up and help out, unconditional love, even when I get distracted in the grocery store by the sale signs and take longer than I should have to get home.  You can't measure that kind of love in dollar amounts.  It's real.  

Full speed life....more than I could have ever asked for or hoped for.  Content.

So I totally blew my post every day goal.  Full Speed Life.  What can I say!

I finished up my first full week as super.  Nice.  Gotta say, love this job.  I'm busy.  My brain is always working.  I love that.

The Y.  As in YMCA.  It's going to be our new hang out.  It's 8 minutes from our house.  We took the tour.  Oooohhhhed and awwwwwwed.  It's a fantastic place to spend time together.  Great place to continue my health goals.  Jason can hulk out.  Dread head and basketball.  'Nough said.  Miss Mini can get her youth yoga on.  Mr. Smooth and the swim team gonna get together.  Miss Itty can rock her leotards and not just in the yard.  Instilling an active life style in our children?  Not only priceless but SO important.

We celebrated Mom's first week as super by going to Eagle Fun Days.  Should be Free Days.  So much to do.  So much fun.

Daddy and Miss Itty Bit Danced.

Miss Mini-Me experienced brain freeze.

Mr. Smooth giggled at elderly ladies booty dancing with canes.

Dread Head had chicks whistling at him as he walked down the side walk.

And Dad and Mom thanked God for blessing them with such amazing kids and this amazing Full Speed Life.

Biting Flies

Safe and happy 4th for everyone?  For us, yes.  All the essentials for a great time.  Really couldn't have asked for more.  Fireworks were beautiful but the bother the cars stopped in a ever streaming bumper to bumper line in front of Uncle's house, SO priceless.  Let me rephrase, bother no, entertain yes.  Already planning our attack, ahummm...firework after party entertainment for next year.  Good times.

Also planning our day after the 4th, become one with nature day, better.  Upper 90's for temps.  First creek we went to looking to play in the water and fish, dry.  Second creek, so shallow, fish were the size of the buttons on my pea coat.  Long drive back through the dessert, sun blazing on my arm and leg, even through the tinted window.  Third and final attempt, the Snake River.  Aha!  Water at last.  Lots of it.  Fish jumping out of the water, big ones I might add.  A seriously loud, crazy buzzing noise.  

We settle in with poles, worms, drinking water, and fun on the brain.  Lucky me, I get stung by a sweat bee within two minutes of being there.  I'm allergic to bees and the allergy meds were back at Uncle's.  Fortunately, it was small enough it that it just hurt like Hades, made my arm go weird, but went away.  Enter my new arch nemesis.  Biting flies.  Oh, how I despise them.  Why do biting/stinging insects think I'm bait?  Super excited to wear sandals the next few days and show off what my ankle biting friends left behind.

Biting flies.  They made me think.  Apparently God knew that biting/stinging insects were going to love me.  He knew that I would sweat like a man and attract them even more.  Biting flies, light bulb moment.  My intense love affair with air conditioning.  My genuine respect for beautiful leather bags and stylish shoes.  My deep attraction to the smell of polished floors and numerous overpowering perfumes wafting out of lowly lit stores with pounding music. 

 I can hang out with the biting flies once in a while.  One with nature on occasion but my allegiance will always be within the air conditioned walls of a shopping mall.  Good times!

"Me" Train

So I posted on Facebook that I was blogging daily.  Didn't blog yesterday.  Long week.  Three kids with summer colds. My newest fascinating series season three came in at the library.  I think that's it.  Agenda today?  Laundry.  General house cleaning.  My new read Slummy Mummy (good read by the way).  Yoga.  Dinner.  I think that's it.

As a mom I often put off the things that I enjoy to contribute to the greater good of our family.  Some days it dawns on me that greater good is important but if I don't take care of myself, mentally and physically, I can't contribute much.  Other times, doesn't matter.  Greater good wins out.  

Where does this come from?  The idea that, as moms, we can't enjoy things just for ourselves.  Many sects in our society still push this archaic idea.  It has plagued me.  Made me feel guilty.  Caused me to give up things.  I'm over it.  

Our family doesn't suffer because I work.  I know, I know.  Work.  How is that for yourself?  Throw in the fact I LOVE my job.  It gives me a huge sense of personal satisfaction.  It's not just a money gig.  Our kids aren't losing out if I say no one in the computer room because I'm getting my yoga on for the next half hour.  To the point I don't really care if laundry sits while I read or blog to relax for a bit.  

I'm over it.  Guilt be gone.  Call me selfish.  I'm catching the  "me" train.  At least more often than I used to.  I think I'll check out that family membership to the Y.  Greater good.  "Me" time.  What could be better?  Shopping in New York City (I can dream right??).

A Dog's Life

Ever make choices and decisions and feel like wow, I am so in tune, this is exactly what we should do?  I'm good at that.  Fast forward two months.  Wow, stupid decision, what in the world motivated me to think that was a good thing!  Happens often.  Maybe I'm Bipolar?  Nah.  Human.

Oh to be a dog.  Do nothing but eat, sleep and hang out in the yard.  Go for the occasional car ride.  Chew up a stuffed animal or two.  No decisions other than lay on the floor or on the couch?  Pooh in this side of the yard or that side?  It's a dogs life.  

Maybe I should take lessons from my furry friend on decision making.  Pretty sure she doesn't torment herself over her choices.  Unless she eats the left hand off of another Barbie and ends up "grounded" from Miss Itty Bit's room.  Even then, doubt it.  

Maybe someday.  For now, I'll start slow.  No more regret.  No more trying to do it alone.  Manipulation.....gone.  Co-decision make with my amazing man a must.  Wow, this doesn't sound slow.  Or easier.  Yet anyway.  Once I get the hang of this, I think it will be easier.  

Going to hang out with my furry baby.  Gonna start those lessons.

BTW, wasn't her decision to wear a Christmas shirt.  Obvious right??

You just never know....

My mom called me this evening to tell me that my great uncle had passed away yesterday.  It was sudden.  Unexpected.  He was a kind, caring, and giving man.  I got my first ever Strawberry Shortcake doll along with the Garden Gazebo from him and my aunt.  He truly was a good man. 

My heart aches for my great aunt that shared his life for the past 55+ years.  I grieve for his daughters.  For his friends. 

You never know when you will leave this earth.  You never know when your time will be over.  You can't predict when you will no longer have breath.  You just never know....

Hold your family close.  Don't miss out on the little things.  Relish the quirks.  Center your faith on Jesus. 

You just never know.

Changing Perspective

Funny, right??  Amazing what a straw, an iPhone and a late night date can do!

Perspective is everything!!  Man, our perspective on life has changed.  Our faces looked much like this picture through the process.  If you had known the Waitley family a couple of years ago and farther back, not sure you would actually recognize us.  Of course you would know our faces but actually know us?  Nope, you would be meeting a stranger with a familiar face.  Square peg, round hole.  Ever heard that?  Yep, that's what we were.  We don't fit the round hole mold very well and until we realized this, we were miserable.  Always searching for our perfect fit.  

We live this crazy, chaotic, busy Full Speed Life.  Jason works, I work, we homeschool, we spend time as a family, extra curricular fun for all, and yet, our lives are so much more than what they were when we were trying to fit the round hole mold.  

Our faith.  Our perspective has changed and I'm sure many would say that we are not "good" Christians.  Many would say we are liberal and would question our choices.  Get thee behind me round hole pusher (King James makes things sound so much more forceful) because we are who we are and God created us this way.  He must have a purpose for us even though we are square pegs.

Be happy as a square peg.  Find your perspective.  Don't let others tell you what or who you should be and how you should believe.  If they do, well, I hope you can get to the point that we are at and say, "stick it in your ear!"

Baby Alive in Chains

Baby Alive in Chains.  That's what I am calling this.  I came home from work one afternoon to find Baby Alive had had a very rough day.  No one really knew how she ended up that way but apparently, her day was way worse than mine.  

I have felt like Baby Alive chained up, bottom shelf, feeling like one more day and I'm just not going to get out of bed.  But then, this amazing thing happened.  I found myself.  So many events took place in our lives, too many to even recount in this post, but along the way, through all the tears, through all the confusion, I found myself.  An awakening happened in our family on this chaotic and sometimes uncomfortable journey and everyone on the Waitley adventure gained something and grew into someone even more beautiful.  People who are not confined or defined by man.  Human beings more compassionate, more at peace, and more able to openly love.  A family that is guided by true faith and a real connection with the Creator.  

A new beginning requires a new blog.  No way I can start up with the old as when I read back through old posts, it was like reading a foreign work that seemed, frankly, odd!  So far from where we are and who we are now.  

Thanks for following us on our journey.  If you are curious as to the events that took place to get us to this amazing new awareness of just who we are, check out the "About Us" page and you will get to know us a little better.  Other than that, hang on, you're in for a crazy ride!

Judy